I was born to do anything but fit.
I've written about it here enough times that I should have neck problems from all my navel-gazing. But my problem wasn't just fitting in with people. It was fitting in clothes.
How do you buy for a six year old with hips? An eight year old who needs a bra?
Early onset puberty made clothes shopping was a nightmare. My body, which had I wanted to use to climb trees and run bases and shoot baskets, became a source of shame and embarrassment. I donned armor in the guise of sweatpants. The weigh piled on and it became something else to worry about. Something else to be ashamed over.
In my late 20s I decided to stop measuring time and happiness by a number on the scale. I'm not always successful, and when I was asked to be a GAP brand ambassador, I was a little nervous. I love clothes, but I hate shopping. Even at 50 pounds lighter each time I step foot in a dressing room I have to remind myself that just because something doesn't look good doesn't make me terrible human being.
With puppies being kicked and wildfires raging out of control and children who don't have access to clean drinking water or health care, my tears in a dressing room are a first-world non-problem. People should be so lucky.
Flash forward and I have the opportunity to invite my blogger friends to a "Born to Fit" party at the GAP pop-up store in Beverly Hills on Robertson.The one promise I made to myself is that no one was going to complain that they were fat. No one was going to cry in a dressing room. Even though we were all different shapes and sizes, everyone would go home feeling beautiful. We'd all be born to fit.
Hosting a party is making everyone fall in love with you for thirty seconds at a time, then introducing them to other people and making them fall in love with each other.
At the GAP party, it was mini-matchmaking sans pants.
Everyone went home with a pair of jeans that made them feel like a million bucks.
Modeling the "Long and Lean."
Photo by Janet Barnett.
Photos from the party can be found here. Thanks to Kae of Are You Ready to Rock? and Janet Barnett of Barnett Lifestyles Photography for their photos. You can read more accounts of the party by Kae and Julia.
Did you get this far? Good, because I've got a GIFT CERTIFICATE for FREE PAIR GAP JEANS! You can enter THREE times.
A email exchange betwixt myself and the fabulous Betsey Booms.
Me: There are people who think our relationship just farts rainbows 24/7.
Betsey: Now does it fart rainbows like maybe 20 hours a day/7 days a week? I'm just curious what one eats to fart rainbows. Please say it's booze related.
Me: We have farting and we have rainbows but they have yet to intersect. Will tries to convince me that they're rainbows. But that would mean rainbows smell like rotten eggs. Which means unicorns smell like...oh god, I don't want to know.
Betsey: I'm pretty sure that if unicorns could fart it would be Skittles and cheeseburgers.
A few days ago I wrote about Gary Vaynerchuck and Good People Day. In addition to being made of awesome, Gary's also been giving out freebies through his @santagaryvee account on Twitter. Y'know who likes free stuff? Me. So I thought it was only appropriate to say thanks to the man in person.
Thanks SantaGaryVee! I love presents, especially when I don't have to sit in a strange fat man's lap to get them!
Further to my run-in with Diablo Cody's #1 Fan, I present to you video of the event to show you that I do not make this shit up:
I didn't realize my friend Patty was taping us until about halfway through the video. At the end when you hear Tomàs answer that phone call? He totally faked that to get me outta there.
Could I sound more nasally?