I open this window, this compose window on a daily basis and I stare at it. I'm used to being confronted by the blank page/blank screen/blank brain but here there's pressure. I have to say something profound and deep and literary but shareable and relatable and SEOizble and viral and not really that last one but blogs are about commodity and monetization and branding or something like that because I don't attend blogging conferences and I'm not a part of blogging networks because I am like Groucho Marx that way.
If I had a kid when I started blogging (1997) it would be GETTING READY TO GO TO COLLEGE.
In 2000 I took multiple meetings about my blog, where people talked about my life as a series and me as a character and what was the throughline and tapes (tapes!) were sent to me with actresses who were blonde and pretty and I met with Executive Producers but no one really knew what the series was and no one really knew what blogging was and I was chugging along at my TV career but the idea of this being a thing sort of fizzled out.
Which is okay. What they don't tell you about Hollywood is that a lot of things fizzle out. You work on a script that everyone's hot on and then they're not. You work on a show that everyone loves until they don't. You work in virtual anonymity and then one day your script wins a contest and Steven Spielberg is producing your pilot which is going straight to series (this guy is the boyfriend of a high school classmate of mine, and it's my favorite Cinderella story this year.)
The promise is that it could always turn around. Good or bad, up or down, it's a seesaw of untold fortunes. You get used to it in that shitty your pants doesn't ever become comfortable but it becomes familiar.
I write shorter stuff on Tumblr, and jokes on Twitter, and dog photos on Instagram and here I wonder if I have any desire to write anything that requires slamming two thoughts together because that seems like work and if it's work shouldn't it, y'know, be work?
But lately I've felt like it's time to dust off the compose new post page and hope back into the fray. Sometimes they'll be short and sometimes they'll be long and sometimes they'll be whining and sometimes they'll link somewhere else because you are not the boss of me unless you are and then that's weird because I haven't been paid.
I started writing for three people on a "personal website" in 1997 and hundreds of thousands of people on the TV screen. I figure right now, my audience is there, somewhere in the middle.
And if not?
"Rejection/ is just an erection/ with an R and a J/ stowing away!" - why I'll never write for Sesame Street— Nina Bargiel (@slackmistress) April 11, 2014