2. The Lilly Ledbetter Act now extends to personal hygiene products! Men now get the opportunity to buy smelly products they don't need. FINALLY, equal opportunity! You've come a long way, baby.
3. Costumers on commercials have a secret stash of slight-used tidy-whiteys. (I can only hope they receive hazard pay.)
4. What was missing was the Robert Blake/OJ Simpson crossover ad where they meet at the Sbarro in the mall food court after being dragged shopping by their overbearing wives.
5. Mrs. Tebow might reassess her position on the right to choose if she was forced to sit in First Class with an E*Trade baby.
Winners? Anyone who got paid to create that violent, misogynistic, and most importantly UNFUNNY piece of crap. Viva mediocrity!
Also a winner? Willie Ames, who did a fabulous job singing at the halftime show. I think he's proved to Hollywood that he's finally ready for the way-overdue Pirate Movie 2.
Losers? All of us who didn't fast-forward through the commercials. I like my misogynists classy. (Looking at you, Don Draper.)