the slack daily

Calendar Girl!

Will and I received our Hot Blogger Calendars in the mail yesterday!

(Taken at by Dan Spisak at The Hollywood)

Sarah and Jane interviewed each blogger, than then used our pull quotes. Mine features one of my all-time favorite stories about my time spent writing Lizzie McGuire.

It was 2000. In the previous year I had decided I was sick of being an assistant (my boss was awesome but you can only fetch lattes for so long), I had split up with the guy I was convinced I was going to marry (a near-miss, we would have killed each other and we're both happily married to other people).

I was also done with being the "fat funny sidekick"  and decided that I was going to lose the weight once and for all.

Flash forward to the Fall of 2000. I have dumped sixty pounds from my frame! I am writing on a show! I have been called hot! Life is good!

Until one day, when I'm standing in craft service, ignoring freshly-baked cookies and Fiddle Faddle and mac and cheese, opting for the ever-so-delicious lunch of dry tuna, straight from the can.

The answer to the question "What was your least hot moment?" is where our pull quote starts:

One of the dads of one of the 16-year-old teen extras came up to me one day and said "you know, you'd have a lot to teach a boy." 

The rest of the quote:

I didn't say anything, because I was thinking HE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT TO ME.  He then continued "you could be his Mrs. Robinson."  At that point, I didn't know whether to be more horrified that he had said that, or that he thought I was a Mrs. Robinson type.  I was only 28!

I've kept forty of those sixty pounds off.  And realized that the "fat funny sidekick" was the way people treated me because that's the way I treated myself.

Funny how that works.

The Hot Blogger Calendar is available for sale through my website - just click on the link on the upper right. If you order from my site, I receive $2 per sale and those proceeds with go to Bill Foundation, the dog rescue I work with. So ogle hot bloggers (Will appears in the men's calendar) and help the doggies. You can't lose.

Out and About.

A few items of note:

• Thanks to all who stopped by for last night's BetheMarriage LIVE! (On Ice), which will soon be known as "Nina consumes a bottle of wine on camera in two hours but I swear I don't have a problem."  I also don't have a hangover.  Those Russian genes sure come in handy.  Will has the recap here.

• Voting has started for the Hot Blogger Calendar!  Some people may be above such things, but I am clearly not one of them.  Vote for me! Get your friends to vote for me! Buy your dog a laptop and get them to vote for me!  Will is also nominated - you can vote for him here.  (If the site is down, you can vote here!)

• This passage, from The Daily Randi, is pretty much why blogging was invented:

 And, thankfully, nobody made me Hold Their Baby. I hate when people ask me, “Do you want to Hold The Baby?” Because I really Don’t, Thank You. But, I can’t say that, because I don’t want to Insult The Baby Passer Offer. So, I say, “Of course! I would Love To Hold Your Baby!” And then they Hand Me The Baby. And then I get stuck Holding it. For Like, Forever. And I find myself wondering, “How Long Do I Have To Hold This Stupid Baby?” I Hate That.

• I am in love with another man.  I can't help it.

Emily.

She's not the first dog you look at.  She's not little and she's not fluffy.  Her face is grey and her ears are lopsided and her legs are a bit skewed and her belly bears the marks of multiple litters of puppies.

Emily, at the Bill Foundation Adoption Fair.

But she's the first dog you should look at.  Because she was dumped in Echo Park, left to wander the streets, starving and scared, but she will happily lean up against you.  She loves to have her square head held in your hands as you scratch the space between her eyes, that space that holds her brain that's seen so much and experienced the worst the human race has had to offer, being used up and thrown out like a piece of trash but still loves us anyway.

You should look at her because she loves dogs and cats and kids, because she's housetrained.  She responds not to treats but to attention and belly rubs.  She's looking for a spot to curl up and sleep. maybe under your desk on a blanket, or on the couch or maybe, just maybe, at the foot of your bed. 

That's more like it.

She's a dog who prefers love to four mile hikes, a dog who will repay you for your kindness tenfold, for a belly full of food and a pat on the head and a soft spot to sleep.  She doesn't care how much you make or what you look like, only that you've got a kind word and a belly rub. 

She's a dog that you walk past looking at all the other dogs, and I can only shake my head at and wonder why people don't get it.  Because she is everything a dog should be and more.  Every Adoption Fair someone asks don't you want to take them all home? And I say I know that each and every dog will find the right home, but for the first time I am crushed that it can't be me because my dog doesn't get along with other dogs and I don't live in a place where I can crate and rotate. 

Every so often there's one that gets under your skin.  One that you know is special, one that is the best that the canine world has to offer. I know I'm not the only one who sees that. 

But I hope the right person with the right home will see that, too. Soon

Emily is available for adoption through the Bill Foundation a non-profit organization which is kept going by your donations (you can donate here!)

If you've got any questions, well, you know where to find me.

If you've been with me since the beginning, I am telling you, this dog is a Thurber, 

Sometimes I Hate People.

Today, at the Bill Foundation Adoption Fair:

A couple walks in with a 4-to-5 year old girl.  The little girl kept shoving her fingers in cage after cage, even though we asked her and her parents to stop poking at the doggies.  Finally, her dad approached the table and asked me about a dog [an adorable, poodley looking guy] that was listed as "not good with kids"

Can I still look at the dog? he asked.

Is that your daughter?  I asked back.

Yes.

Then no, you can't.  I'm sorry, but it says it's not good with kids.  We have many great family dogs here, I'd be happy to show you them.

But that one looks like it would be the best around kids.

And I'm telling you it's not.

Another volunteer joins us.  No, that dog can't be around children. According to the shelter it was in a home with children that terrorized it, so we want to find him a quiet, adults-only home.

Well, I want to look at that dog, he insists.

I'm sorry, I continue, I will be happy to have any of the volunteers show you another dog--

Clearly you don't care about these dogs, because you'd want them to go into good homes like mine, he says.  He snorts and grabs his daughters hand and they stride off.  Maybe he'll get her a pet lion instead.

There was also a couple who left their dog unattended in a shopping car for ten minutes and the family who boasted that of course they would keep the dog inside - that's what their garage was for!  But it doesn't have A/C, so they need a sturdy dog - could we hook them up?

/headdesk

Dog Day Afternoon!

I spent my afternoon with a handsome boy.

We even made out!

Hootie, along with many other fabulous dogs, is available for adoption through the Bill Foundation.