the slack daily

Happy Birthday...NOW EAT YOUR SOUP.

Today is younger slackbrother j.'s birthday.  He turned 30.

This is weird for me, as I'm five years older and still not totally convinced he can drive.  Or vote.  Or legally purchase alcohol.

This was meant to be a post on the odd nature of seeing your siblings grow up, the oh-so-tangible nature of time as evidenced in another human being who you have known from the very moment they came to be.  But instead, it's going to be the story of what happened at his birthday dinner.

Younger slackbrother j. do something low-key and cheapish, so we agreed to meet at our favorite Chinese Restaurant, which is a few blocks away from the Detective Agency.   The place was packed, but there was a small table in the corner next to a window.  We grabbed menus and the waitress came by to take our order.  Will loves Egg Drop Soup, so he ordered a large bowl for the table.  The waitress shut her notepad and ran off.

We figured she was busy and would return to take our drink order.

She returned a few minutes later with a big bowl...or Hot and Sour Soup. 

I'm sorry, Will told her, we didn't order that.  We ordered Egg Drop Soup.

You didn't order this? she asked.

No, we ordered Egg Drop Soup.

Oh, you'll like this.  She began to ladle the soup into smaller bowls and handed them out to us.

I'm sure it's good, he continued, but we want Egg Drop Soup.  That's what we ordered.

Okay, she replied, but you eat this first.  I'll bring you a half order of Egg Drop Soup.

Will looked at me, confused. But I don't want this.

I interjected as politely and clearly as I could.  Ma'am, we ordered Egg Drop Soup. 

The Hot and Sour is good, she told me.  I won't charge you.  You'll have the Hot and Sour.

Her Jedi Mind Tricks weren't going to work on me. I vowed to stay strong.

We want Egg Drop Soup.  A full order of Egg Drop Soup, so there'll be some to take home.

Fine.  Egg Drop Soup.  She sighed and left.

Will turned to me.  Since when did ordering become a negotiation?

Thankfully the rest of our meal went off without a hitch.  Except I discovered later that the Egg Drop Soup didn't make it into the bag of leftovers we took home. 

(Neither did the Hot and Sour.)

Happy Birthday younger slackbrother j!

Family Ties.

I made peace with my haircut

and Will and I were off to his family reunion, as it was the first time in ages that all of his siblings - six including him - were to be in one place at one time since, well, forever.  It was also the first time that I met his extended family (as well as two brothers) since we had gotten married.  When it took us nearly 25 minutes to get ten feet in the door of the American Legion Hall on Friday night, I excused myself and ran straight to the bar to fetch us drinks to get us the rest of the way in.  There were great aunts and great uncles and cousins and second cousins and kids and grandkids and girlfriends and exes of cousins and parents and in Goodfellas-style, they were all named Maria or Annie or Billy.  Finally I told someone I was just going to point and talk if I wanted to address someone.

 
The SlackParents were invited to the party, so they made the trek from the midwest and showed up (even when Will gave them slightly wrong directions!)  At one point, I see SlackDad talking to a couple and SlackMom dancing with some guy in a tank top.

Uh, who's that? I ask Will.

No idea, he responds.  Ask my dad.

I find Dad of Boy.  Who's that?

He pokes his head in the hall.  Oh, that's Joey Tequila.  He's a friend of mine. (beat) Your mom shouldn't be dancing with him.

I went in and rescued her and asked the SlackParents the next day what had transpired.

Oh, there was this guy that kept motioning to your ma that she should come dance with him, SlackDad said. 

So you just sent her? I asked.

What? He just looked like he wanted to have a good time.

So you sent your wife.

Exactly!

There are many more stories, of course, like how we nearly got into a fight at the airport while waiting in line and our time at the Marz Bar and subway rides not taken, but there was also Albert's Pizza and hanging out in the backyard with Sister and Brother of Boy and their boyfriend/girlfriends, there were crab cakes and shopping with SlackMom and getting to pour the coffee at Grandma's and a classic Dad of Boy breakfast and WFAN on the radio in our bright blue rented Chevy Aveo that we listened to while sipping Dunkin Donuts coffee and taking the Will Personal History Tour.  There were in-jokes and drama and bullshitting and storytelling and moments where I wanted to strangle people and moments where I'm sure they wanted to strangle me, I'm both happy to be home and yet at the same time I miss them.  And that's how I know that they're not just Will's family. 

Me and BetheSister.

They're my family, too.