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So That Just Happened...

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My Top Ten Awesome List of 2009

According to the RULES OF THE INTERNET I am supposed to make a TOP TEN LIST at the end of the year. So I thought I'd better make a list in case I get fined or something.

The Top Ten Things That Made My Year More Awesome:

1. Friends of Tom.
   Caissie, Matt, Lisa Jane Persky, Andy Zax, Kiemzi, Scratchbomb, Justsheano are all people I want to fold up into a neat little square and tuck them in my purse. As I was saying to someone at the ham party a couple of nights ago, I'm a fan of Tom Scharpling and the Best Show on WFMU, but I was a fan of his fans of his show first.


2. Super talented people who I got to know better.
   Ben Acker, half of the writing team that created The Thrilling Adventure & Supernatural Suspense Hour. Lisa Jane Persky, (shut up, it's my list, I can add people twice) photographer, actress, writer, maker of ham.  Andy Zax, storyteller, music geek, and GRAMMY NOMINEE for Best Historical Album. Mike Holmes, actor, and writer of the upcoming theater adaptation of Forbidden Zone. Chia Evers, writer and Viable Paradise fellow. Steve Marmel, all around funnyguy and HuffPo blogger.


3. Super talented people who I don't KNOWknow, but who made my life a funnier place.
   Paul F. Tompkins, Tom Scharpling, Janie Haddad, Sara J. Benincasa, April Richardson, James Urbaniak, Jon Wurster. Your unbridled hilarity made me ruin something this year, whether it was my screen from a spit-take, or dinner. The bill will be forthcoming.


4. My husband's family.
   Like my own, they make me laugh and they make me cry and they make me want to pull my hair out, but I know they'll always have my back and feed me dinner.


5. Older SlackBrother J.
   Brother is doin' it for himself, yo. Beat the Cooler was released for the iPhone, and he's got plenty of more things in the hopper. Let's hear it for second acts.


6. Second Acts.
   I got my own this year. I have a pile of writing to get through (TWO pilots, a spec, a spec screenplay, a novel, and an animated pitch, all in various states of outlinedness.


7. My crew.
   If we have shared a drink, you are part of my crew. (I'm easy, you should know that by now.) We're not America's Next Top Dance Crew...yet.


8. Daisy J Dog.
   Not only is she the greatest dog in the planet, but she is the funniest dog on Twitter.


9. My husband.
   It hasn't been the easiest year, but it's been the easiest year to be married to him. As I said earlier this year, I highly suggest you find a Will of your own. You just can't have mine.


10. You.
    People say no one reads blogs anymore. But here you are. Thank you.

Honorable Mention: This photo of Captain Kirk holding an enormous dildo. Because it's a photo of Captain Kirk holding an enormous dildo!

Note: BetheMarriage is returning in 2010! Same day, NEW TIME!  5-6pm PST every Saturday night! Stay tuned for more details...

Tom Scharpling Owes Me Dinner.

A couple of months ago, after a long day of work, Will said he'd take care of dinner. It was a Tuesday, and if you've been married to Will as long as I have (and if you have, that sounds like something I should know, so speak up) that means it's Best Show with Tom Scharpling on WFMU night.

Will put a frozen pizza in the oven and pointed his browser to WFMU.org. I sat down next to him on the couch with Daisy in my lap. After a few minutes I asked if I should check on the pizza.

I set the timer, he promised me.

I went back to petting the dog and reading a book, not minding the time. Until something started to burn about twenty minutes later. Will jumped up and ran to the kitchen.

I guess I forgot to set the timer, he said as the smell of burnt pizza filled the apartment.

...

Last night, we replayed the same scenario, except that while the opening notes of The Best Show theme song streamed through the Mac's speakers, I was busy making dinner. I chopped zucchini, sliced onion, crushed garlic and tossed it with some olive oil and chicken pesto sausage and dumped it in a pyrex baking dish to roast in the oven for an hour.

I joined Will on the couch and we listened. (And I inadvertently christened myself the Teflon Vagina.)

After thirty minutes I got up to check on dinner, taking the pyrex out of the oven and giving it a good stir. I opened the oven, retriever my mitts, and grabbed the dish to stick it back in the oven for another thirty minutes.

Except that in-between grabbing the dish and placing it in the oven, my brain decided to concentrate on the voice coming out speakers instead of the 375-degree firestorm in front of me.

I placed the dish halfway on the oven rack, where it slipped and dumped half of its contents on the oven door.

I salvaged a third of our dinner and made the rest up with wine.

And decided that cooking and the Best Show don't mix.

Check out The Best Show every Tuesday from 8pm-11pm EST on wfmu.org
The Best Fans can be found on the The Best Show homepage & message board.
Catch up with previous shows by checking out the archives. Or even the special archive. If you dare.