I think I might be a job creator, because I'm manufacturing a lot of assholes.
See this cat? This cat is an asshole. This is the stray/feral cat who likes to sleep in my yard. This cat is awesome, but this cat also knows that my dog wants to feast on ths cat's bones. This fact doesn't stop this cat. This cat finds a shady area under a thorny bush that backs up against the wooden fence so when I go outside and check to see if the yard to see if it's safe to let Daisy J. Dog outside, I can't see it right away. And this cat won't run away if I make noise from the porch. I have to go up to the bush and yell to get the cat to move. The cat is choosing to stay at a hotel where a giant monster may possibly eat it and the wake-up call is a unshowered sweaty woman yelling at her. This cat is an asshole.
See this dog? This is Daisy J Dog. This dog is an asshole. This dog is like a rogue cop: she plays by her own rules. This dog's Match.com ad would read "likes to crap in the house, wake up 14 times a night when you have to get up early, requires expensive medication to keep me healthy and fart under the covers." But this dog will never be on Match.com because she is our dog and we love her. Even though she's as asshole.
See this chick? This is me. I'm an asshole. There are many examples of me being an asshole, but this might be the most recent. This is a selfie I took of me drinking wine in bed in a fancy hotel room after running a 30 hour relay race, after I bombarded my social media stream for over 24 hours with 39849234 photos of my sweaty face. But I just had to take one more. Because I am an asshole.