I like to say that I'm an asshole on Internet, and that's 100%. But in real life I like to be an asshole with some common human decency. I failed that today at the Trader Joe's.
I was in line, paid for my purchases and realized I had forgotten to get the gift card that I had specifically gone there to get. The person who had been behind me was checking out, so I turned around, and went up the line and got back in it.
I stood there for a minute, maybe two, until it was my turn. And then I heard a voice behind me say:
Are you in line?
I turned around. Yes I am.
She huffed at me.
My only guess is that she had gotten into line just as I was making my way up the aisle to get in line. But I swear, I hadn't seen her. I only cut lines by tipping people, and that rarely works at the grocery store. Why hadn't she said anything the second she saw me? I felt like a jerk.
I'm so sorry, I said, I didn't see you. Would you like to go ahead?
She rolled her eyes.
No, really, please go ahead. I moved aside.
She turned away.
At this point, I realized that nothing was gong to make up for my egregious sin. I was the asshole, so I might as well own it. I paid for the gift card and told her to have a nice day.
Somewhere in out there in the Internet universe, I hope she is blogging about me.
Love,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Asshole
