Will and I were driving back form Vegas this morning listening to Pete Holmes' You Made It Weird, featuring the very funny Kumail Nanjiani. Kumail was talking about his relationship with his wife, Emily and we were somewhere between baker and Barstow so I was at that point where you've looked at the desert so long that it's just one large Tetris board of brushes and roadkill when...
Me: Did Kumail just say he peed on his wife?
Will: No, he said impede. He was talking about things that impede a relationship.
Me: Peeing on someone would probably impede your relationship.
Will: If you wanted to pee on me, I'd let you pee on me.
Will: Seriously! That's how much I love you.
Me: Forget it. You'd make me wash the sheets afterwards.
Will: Nope. I'd wash the sheets. And fold them. And put them away.
Me: That's commitment.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I do not want to pee on anyone. (Not right now, anyway.)