Sometimes, I use a flat iron my hair. This probably comes as no shock to you all, although the times I mess about with my hair are few and far between. I have two looks: ponytail and non-ponytail.
"GREAT PONYTAIL!" - no, one ever*
Every time I turn on the flat iron - every single time - I tell Will that it's on, and careful not to burn himself.
This is even though:
1. The flat iron is on my vanity.
2. Will has never expressed any interest in touching anything on my vanity.
3. Will has never touched my flat iron, ever.
It's akin to yelling at him to look both ways before crossing the street. Or to stop at stop signs. Or not to gamble away half of all of the money we have in the world ($1000) the night before our wedding.
A few years ago, he asked me why I did this.A reasonable question. Which demanded my reasonable answer:
When I'm flat ironing my hair, it's usually because we're getting to go somewhere. Which means you're getting ready to go somewhere. Which means that you're just out of the shower. Which means you're naked. Which means you could burn your penis on the flat iron and hey if that's what you want to do, fine, but what kind of wife would I be if I didn't at least warn you?
Please don't burn your penis on the flat iron, kids.
What are your random acts of nonsensical advice?
*I stole this from someone on Twitter but I don't remember who and I can't find it. If you can recall, please send me the link so I'm not a dirty stealerpants.