Hey There Dude Reading War & Peace While Walking Your Dog,
Most people are content to demonstrate their smartness by walking and chewing gum at the same time, but you, sir, you took that challenge and turned it up to eleven! First I thought perhaps you were working out your biceps with Tolstoy's giant tome of the effect of the Napoleonic Wars on Russian Aristocrats, but you made sure to crack the spine into submission as I walked by to show me that you were as serious as...well, War & Peace.
I can only imagine the conversations you have with your dog - who I imagine is ironically named Lenin because he likes his dog bed extra cold - at home. While Daisy and my most frequent conversation goes something like "HEY! GET OUT OF YOUR BUTT!" you must be discussing the cultural ramifications of Tsarist Upper Class Problems. (I got 99 problems but a Tsar ain't one.)
In the meantime, my hat is off to you, sir, in your quest to multitask your education with pet care. Just look where you're going, because Lenin just shit right in the middle of the sidewalk.
(Who is vaguely related to some Russian Aristocrats way back when.)