There is a candy-apple red 2009 Corvette that has been parked outside of our apartment building for days. Some may say it classes up the joint, but it's the sort of car that I expect an 1980's high school movie villain to pop out of at any minute.
Is he still awaiting my never-developed Reality Show, The Two Billys?
From the slackmistress mailbox:
Why do you hate children? I'm referring to this.
First of all, the child in that blog post is THIRTY-ONE YEARS OLD. But I still can't understand how peopel can not wrap their head around the fact that I don't want kids, yet I do not hate kids. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Kids are awesome! You can brainwash them in any way you choose and send them into the world like adorable little propaganda machines! They can be your designated driver when they get their Learner's Permit! Their tiny little hands can fit into the toaster when you have a stuck bagel!*
It's sort of like Golden Retriever. I like Golden Retrievers. I just don't want one of my own.
The Billy Zabka of dogs?
Dear Reader: I hope this clears things up for you. If you'd like to ask the slackmistress a question, click on that link on the upper left part of the screen and fire away.
ALSO: I invented a word yesterday, which is Drunklexic. It's when you transpose letters because you've been drinking. Please use and abuse at will.
*Okay, this is a lie. Everyone knows I don't really do carbs.
