There's this "25 Things About Me" meme that's been going around. What's weird is that the shorter lists don't get propagated as much as this one has. I think this is because we are all secretly narcissists looking for an excuse to tell our stories to the world. However, I am not a secret narcissist. But I don't like when people tag because then I feel obligated and then it's like you're the Boss of Me but the check never arrives and I just feel stupid. Which I do for free on a daily basis.
Anyway, I posted this days ago on Facebook. But some of you aren't on Facebook. Or you're on Facebook, but you don't read notes. Or you're on Facebook, we're not friends, and you don't read notes. Or you're on Facebook, you actively hate me, we're not Facebook friends, and you don't read notes. I changed the rules because I'm a rule-changer.
I tag no one. Especially not Jessica.
Rules: Once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with
25 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. Supposed to is the
key word here. Let's face it, folks. I can "tag" you. But I'm not the
boss of you. You might be someone who rankles against the status quo.
Or you might find the "you have been tagged" notification Chinese Water
Torture.
I may choose 25 people to be tagged. Or I am not. I may not even make it to the end of this list. But at least you know that I cared enough to rewrite the rules.
If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you. Or because I hate you and want to drive you crazy.
If you can't figure out how to write a note, then write everything down by hand, put it in an envelope with a $20 and send it me. I'll post it for you.
1. My husband knows the name of all of the Golden Girls, and their husbands on the show. You'd think this was more about him than me, except that I married someone who knows the name of all of the Golden Girls, and their husbands on the show. This should clue you in to the sort of person I am.
2. I never imagined myself having kids. In Mrs. Wilgocki's class, we had that one assignment where we had to write our obituaries. Mine read "she will be mourned by her pets and her plants." Clearly only one of those is correct, because I can't keep plants alive.
3. Speaking of pets, I have had three pit bulls since I moved to California in 1994. Two of those dogs only had three legs. I love old dogs. I'll never intentionally own a puppy, or pay for a dog from a breeder. I am CrazyPants McGee about this part of my life - pit bulls and pet overpopulation, but I will not offer my opinion unless I'm asked. But if you ask...watch out.
4. I refuse to debate with anyone who doesn't have an open mind (which is why I won't debate the above.) I am stubborn but I am also totally willing to fess up to being an idiot.
5. I sometimes wish I didn't remember every mean word someone ever said in junior high and high school, but I carved out a but of a career on it, so it's okay. Also, it's been awesome reconnecting with people. Although there's a few out there...
6. I credit CJ Cregg's character on "The West Wing" for giving my father and I an actual relationship. My dad is awesome, but he didn't really talk about much besides sports with the guys. Our mutual obsession with CJ Cregg opened up a huge line of dialog that continues to this day. I ran into Alison Janney at the Whole Foods after the gym but I didn't want to say anything because I smelled like a sweaty sock.
7. I also met Billy Bob Thornton when I smelled like a sweaty sock - a Casting Director friend and I were walking one morning and went into the Coffee Bean. He was still with Angelina Jolie and the Golden Globes were that evening. I blurted out how I hated awards shows and he agreed and said they'd rather make out in the limo.
8. I swear I don't always smell like a sweaty sock.
9. I think my husband is one of the most talented writers I know, and he needs to have his memoir on the shelves, stat. He's also moronically funny. However, we are rated R, so we may not be appropriate for children under 17.
10. When I lost 60 pounds (diet and exercise, before you ask) back in early 2000ish (2001, 2002) I got really into weight training. I was doing a lot of Powerlifting training and wanted to compete. I got really sick (it took three years to diagnose me as hypothyroid, is it that difficult?) and left it all behind.
11. Lizzie McGuire was nominated for two Emmys for "Best Kids' Show." The scripts that were submitted both of those times were written by my brother and me.
12. In 6th grade, Jennie Woods unhooked my bra while we were sitting in the Hadley Jr. High Library for some sort of presentation. I told her I'd get even with her, and I did: I named a hated Lizzie McGuire character after her. HA-ha.
13. Sometimes when I run into a story roadblock, I look up Simpsons' episodes because they've done everything.
14. My husband kept saying we should get married from the second we started to date. We dated six weeks before I finally said yes. We married five months after that (May 10, 2007.)
15. I really miss writing on a staff of a TV show. It's not that I don't want to, it's just that, like every other job economy, times are REALLY lean right now.
16. I write every day.
17. I am working on: blogging at the slack daily, blogging at pointless banter, writing a comic book for a small UK company, creating a video game, writing a spec screenplay, rewriting a previous spec screenplay, shopping around my pilot, and outlining my novel. In the middle of this all, I try to pick up small writing gigs to pay the bills.
18. I ended up "the slackmistress" because my boyfriend in 1997 created a "personal web space" called "the slack" and called himself "the slackmaster." He wrote about what he had in his briefcase. I said unless there was a severed head in there, no one cared. He challenged me to write something so I did and called myself the slackmistress. We broke up shortly thereafter and he handed the site over to me. Twelve years later, here we are.
19. I have been told by previous representation that the Internet was "a waste of time."
20. I used to love to tell lies when I was a kid. I still lie as a joke to my husband, to see what I can pass by him. I told him that they threw the foreskin at a bris (and it was good luck to catch it), and that tug of war was used to settled land disputes in colonial america.
21. I am a terrible human being.
22. I get equal amounts of fan mail and hate mail, but I get a disproportionate amount of hate mail for the level of popularity my blog is at.
23. "Internet" and "real life" are basically the same thing to me. I've been blogging for twelve years. My husband found me through a comment I left on one of his friends' Flickr photos. He stalked me back to my blog. He emailed me and IMed and blogged about me. He proposed in the blog comments. Some of my best friends I've made through the Internet.
24. I didn't always like pink, but about six years ago, pink was suddenly my color. Sometimes I think driving a pink mini cooper makes me a total asshole. But I also think it makes me kind of awesome.
25. While a lot of the time I drink like a girl (kir royales, mimosas, champagne) I can also through down bourbon like a boy.
25.5. You should be terrified that I could probably list another 25. My ego has been unleashed to epic proportions, and it's ALL [insert name of people who tagged me here]'s FAULT.
Big love,
the slackmistress
