My previous post reminded me of an incident that took place about eight years ago. The year was 2000, and I was living in one of those huge, soulless apartment buildings in Hollywood where all of the units looked exactly the same. Master bedroom with enclosed bathroom on one side and slightly smaller bedroom with adjacent bathroom on the other flanked a shared living room and galley kitchen. This place boasted huge ceilings and beautiful (faux) wood floors, but the fact is that was straight out of Apartments 'r Us.
The reason Older Slackbrother J. and I had elected to live there is that they didn't bat an eye about me owning a three legged pit bull named Peanut.
In fact, the landlord wasn't particularly picky about anyone who lived there, so we had the virtual societal salad of couples and hookers and drug dealers and old people and a ton of strippers. (In fact, a date that once picked me up remarked hey, you live in the stripper building!) Being just around the corner from Sunset Blvd. (not the nice part) we were also around the corner from three or four strip clubs.
In the morning, sans makeup, (and usually sans underwear) I would crawl out of bed, throw on some amalgamation of clothes (or a robe over my PJs), grab my glasses and walk Peanut. On the way to the elevator, I'd usually run into two or three girls returning home from the night shift. They'd coo at the dog, I'd nod politely (it was too early for small talk) and we'd all be on our way.
When I returned home in the evening, I'd repeat the process, except this time I was fully makeup'd and had my contacts in, and my clothes took n a more matching quality since I had worn them to work that day. The same two or three girls would be heading off to work, and I'd greet them in the hallway. They'd coo over Peanut, and we'd be on our way.
...except one evening, when one of the girls stopped me.
You're so sweet, she told me, but your morning dogwalker? She's kind of a bitch. And not exactly cute, if you know what I'm sayin.
I don't have a ---ooohhh.
They looked at me, confused.
I'll talk to her, I promised.
They gave Peanut one last pat and were on their way.
And it's that time again...
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