Posting chat transcripts is almost as lazy as posting bulleted lists when it comes to blogging.
But I'm lazy today.
Enjoy.
A Typical Conversation Betwixt Me & My Husband:
backtobattan: It's like she's trying to shoot lazers from her eyes but they won't workbut she's constantly trying
3:40 PM stop the car, that the funniest thing I'll ever say
3:42 PM backtobattan: Crack myself up
3:46 PM backtobattan: I quit being funny now
I'm also pretending to shoot lazers
me: From your eyes?
at whom?
backtobattan: just around, with my eyes
3:47 PM me: But surely with some purpose?
backtobattan: just bouncing around the cube
or gleaming it
me: I would shoot lasers at people
maybe at a safe
3:48 PM backtobattan: they might burn
me: the safe will burn
blow open the safe, take the moneybags
backtobattan: That's a common hero misconception, you can't control your lazers, they just burn shit up
3:50 PM me: How do you know?
Besides, some of the money has to survive
If you blow up 50 million dollars then 25 million probably survives
half is fine with me
backtobattan: I give these things a lot of thought
me: Think about a bomb
3:51 PM the correct placement of a bomb decides what blows up
A laser doesn't cut through everything 'til eternity. Something survives.
3:52 PM backtobattan:
yes but you can control the amount of explosive and direction of
blast. For an eye lazer to go through steel at close range you have to
expect it will go through the back of the safe, through the wall and
into the next room.
Unless you're telling me that they have precision eye lazers
which i don't buy
3:53 PM me: But what's the diameter of the ray?
it's small, yes?
backtobattan: the standard Superman II size
me: so imagine you run it on the bottom of the safe __________
3:54 PM then you cut the sides
not in the middle, at the edges
on maybe even on edge
and then the top
or you cut a door in the middle
it destroys everything BEHIND it, but not the stuff to the side
3:55 PM backtobattan: just don't think that an organ like an eyeball, even a lazer eyeball is capable of precise cuts like that.
me:
actually a door in the middle is prolly best, as cutting along the
sides would damage the safe deposit boxes with the moneybags and jewels
fine, then you measure and practice
and figure out how far back you have to stand to blow off the front of the safe
but not the back. the
problem is that you want it all now now now and I'm all about patience
and figuring out how to master it so I can use my laser eyes to my
advantage
3:56 PM backtobattan: keep dreaming
can't be done
me: prove it 3:57 PM backtobattan: fine, I'll get lazer eyes
me: Good luck, does that come before or after paying DWP?
