Thursday Times Three.

Remember how music didn't used to suck and movies were watchable and affordable and TV made us laugh instead of cry? Remember when life was just about hearing the familiar twinkles of the bells when the ice cream man would come? (Unless you were molested by yours, or he delivered drugs, then I imagine it wasn't as fun.  But I bet it was just as memorable!) Remember when you counted down the days until the park district pool opened or what you were going to be for Halloween or who you were going to invite to your birthday party and whether you were going to have a sleepover or a party after school and if you would Truth or Dare and would it be a good dare, not who do you like? but will you run past his house in your underwear?

You know how we wax nostalgic on how everything was way better and hey you kids get off my lawn my hip hurts?

I give you this commercial.

Please keep the 80's back where they belong.

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While we're on the subject of media, I would like to share this program, which Will was watching last night.  Pay close attention to the title:

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I see from Melissa and Leah that yesterday was "The Great Mofo Delurk," which is another not-so-thinly veiled attempt for us blogfolk to reach out to our audience and say tell us who you are because the curiosity is driving us batshit crazy.  I, of course, am no exception, but you also know that I am always constantly late to the party.  The same party that in true Groucho Marx fashion I think must suck if I'm invited to it, but secretly jealous that I didn't think of it first.

Fake blogging holidays (although I guess if someone decides it into being, it's real, yes?  How does someone create a holiday?  International Slackmistress Appreciation Day cards, coming to a Target near you!) are sort of like fake blogging awards (see previous parenthetical.)  While some of my friends (see that list to the right? I like you people!) bear such badges (and deservedly so), I can't help but think that they're sort of like the taxidermied pheasant that my mother used to have and was passed around birthday-to-birthday to her friends.  Soon we're going to have hippest mommyblogger who rocks the largest knit hat collection and most clever post about people who drive whilst on the cell phone (note: this can't exist.  Please stop writing about people who drive poorly while on the phone.  This public service announcement was brought to you by me.)

Of course, I've never gotten one of these, maybe because I don't like people (except you reading this.  You're the only one who can see!) and you only get awards for that if you're Egas Moniz.

But because I'm a stealerpants, I will open the floor to comments, which of course, is the Money Shot of this whole endeavor.  If you've commented before, if you've never commented, belly up to the bar.  Tell me who you are and come up with a fake blogging award then tell me who you'd give it to.

I'll start.

Best Blogger I Should Dislike Because She Writes About Crafts and I'd Rather Eat Nails But Her Crafts Are Awesome And You Should Buy Them: JustJENN.

Best Blogger Who I Almost Didn't End Up Marrying But I was Wooed By His Detective Posts, Christmas Midgets and Otis Redding: BetheBoy.

Your turn!