If you said to yourself 'Self, I do not think that the slackmistress blogged yesterday' you would not be mistaken. Instead of spending my day in front of the computer, Friday afternoon saw me getting poked and prodded at Burke-Williams. My friends know that one of the ways my love can be bought is through a gift certificate to the spa.* I had been collecting them for quite awhile, and I thought no better time to cash in than when I was at my most stressed. As I slid the assortment of certificates over the counter on my way out, I noticed that one of them was from my ex-boyfriend's parents for a birthday two years ago. Good thing I sent them a thank-you card ages ago...
Rested and relaxed, Mr. Boy and I headed out to meet The Sneeze and his delightful wife over at the Knitting Factory to see Cloud Cult. We arrived around 9:30pm, assuming that they'd be on at ten. When the 3298473294th opening band took the stage at 11pm, we knew we were in for quite a wait. At midnight Cloud Cult had taken the stage but was going through a quick sound check and Mr. Boy and I were starting to fade. Which is when the following conversation took place:
slackmistress: Y'know, you only have a few more days to have sex as a single guy.
Mr. Boy: Well, I'll be single after you die.
slackmistress: True. But that's going to be like when you're 83. You'll probably need some sort of help by then.
Mr. Boy: Like Viagra?
slackmistress: I was thinking more in terms of a robot penis.
Mr. Boy: I don't want a robot penis!
slackmistress: Because it's only a matter of time until it turns on you.
Tonight will find me out with the Girls for a mini-Bachelorette party. Think less of me puking up Kamikazes whilst on the lap of a mulleted gay stripper and more like drinks and dinner. But there will be a limo! And perhaps this pair of fine footwear that I forgot about when rummaging in my closet:
Decisions, decisions...
*n.b. - other ways my love can be bought: champagne, dark chocolate, fresh tulips, mix CDs, Detective Posts, little surprises, big bags full o' cash.
