My Photo

« Mr. Boy vs. the SlackParents! | Main | SlackParents, (re)Visited. »

March 25, 2007


TrackBack URL for this entry:

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Nice Tits.:



That's so messed up. I am really sorry. I've spent most of my life being totally "invisible" to cat calls ... with the random "Mooo" once every like 10 years. (What I think is always funny is how it happens when I will be walking somewhere ... it's like jez, that's what I get for getting out and moving, and possibly reducing my girth!) I don't deal well with attention, so I can't even imagine what I would do if guys suddenly found me object-able. I live in this little bubble of cool people ... then there are reminders of how much scum roams free. And WTF kind of response was this dude looking for??! Like what are you supposed to do ... again, wow. Really sorry you had to deal with that.

jen carroll

Maybe you should move to Tulsa! I don't know how you could live with the *men in L.A. (yeah, i'm bias with my experiences, but still)

*betheboy excluded


Wow - that was an awful story... I'm sorry.


Also, I know I don't need to tell you this - but you DON'T need to be impressed with his 'can-do attitude.' He was an asshole who was a blink away from assaulting you (physically - he'd already assaulted and insulted you verbally and emotionally). He deserves no benefit of the doubt, and no excuse for his completely inappropriate, appalling behavior. He gives all men - good men like Mr. Boy & Mr. Caroline - a bad name. He's pathetic.

the slackmistress

@Caroline: Oh, that was a pathetic attempt at a joke, I meant to say something akin to "as opposed to his ganja-smoking, cheeto-eating brethren" as a play on stoner hippies but it was like 4am when I wrote this (couldn't sleep.)


Don't move to Tulsa - they're bad, if not worse, there. My guess is because they have nothing else to do.

I grew up in Tulsa and have been dealing with the "Nice tits" men since I was 9 or 10.


I know what you mean and the sheer weight of the emotional impact something like this can have. And believe me, knowing how you are a confident person is easy, but these moments break down something deeper within. Man, I wish I had the guts to just sock him in the face if I was there. This is where my mother would use her famous saying "Just because they have a little extra meat between their legs they think they're special."


slack, we've discussed this before. you know, i used to have all of those sorts of experiences, and it's just patently ridiculous. i have always wanted to know why *we* are made out to be bitches/sluts etc. when we're the ones being verbally assaulted. ridiculous. like you, when hearing those sorts of words, just ignore and walk on. sorry you had to go through this. thankfully there was a nice person there with you.


Eloquently written, and heartbreaking enough to make me feel compelled to write a response, even though I have no words. I'm so sorry for what happened to you and to your sweet little car. What a f*cker. Made me want to get all Thelma and Louise on his *ss.



I foresee a future where he is walking down the road when all of a sudden, he feels a light tapping on his shoulder and then gets splattered in bird shite -- white, dripping, runny bird shite.

Just something about you and the boy -- There's a difference between mistakenly taking it out on Mr. Boy and continuing with your day, and taking it out on him, recognizing the fault, and feeling bad about it. You're a rare and wonderful lady.

Lastly, Happy Bday Younger J!


Sorry I missed that - I read the story & got all angry and up in arms. Growing up, my best friend was in your position, and while she felt many of things you described, I would get furious and step up (with my big mouth) and give whoever might be mis-treating her a piece of my 12 year-old mind (or, however old we were at the time... it started happening around 10). Me, I am still waiting for puberty to hit. I am hoping it hits before menopause. Anyway, if I could sock him in the jaw, I would!

Jake Martelli

I'm disappointed that you didn't accept my advances that day.


I would have confronted him in a heartbeat. But that comes from years of being closer to guys than I am girls.

And what kind of rational adult spits on someones car? Damn child needs to be strung up by his toes, nekkid and mocked.

the slackmistress

@drea: I've been closer to guys all my life, too. This isn't a situation where being afraid of a boy is the issue.

However, I'm also sane enough to realize that a snappy comeback isn't worth it nor can it protect me from someone who is physically larger than I am. He struck me (no pun intended) as someone who was itching for a fight, and by his resulting behavior, he definitely was. He clearly wasn't a rational adult!


you did the right thing and you are correct: he was looking for a fight. he was hoping to engage you in either a fight or a score. he couldn't get either and you made him just as upset as he made you (in a different way of course). he didn't get his way and that's good! he has an inferiority complex. he was teeming with impotent rage. you have love in your life, you have a wonderful familiy and a wonderful dog! he is not a happy person. i hope his life stays miserable and it probably will. people like that eventually meet someone else just as bad so let's just wait until he meets someone with a gun ; ) or maybe he'll just overdose or get cancer. the possibilities are endless!!

Miss C. Red

Bless that nice old lady with the tissue.


^^I'm with Miss C. Red. God bless those people who see, asses, armed with tissue in hand for those moments, not at all weirded out by reaching out to a stranger in need.

I love those people.

anonymous mom

omigod, what an asshole. i'm angry as hell on your behalf. my hand is itching to throw a rock at the asshole. but i might miss and hit the car instead, or the nice lady with the kleenex, because i throw like a girl. i'm pretty sure i would have tried to kick him though if he had spit on my Mini (mine's gold, just a tad more subdued than your hot pink).

i'll bet will wants to find him and kick his ass.

The Brooklyn Sea Hag

This is why I always carry long-range poisonous blow darts!


Why do some men feel that it is their right to make comments to women who are innocently walking down the street minding their own business? Who the hell are they? I put up with the same behaviour here in Toronto as well. Even though we get through those moments, it still bugs the shit out of us for days!!!! The guy in your story definitely makes it to the top of the asshole list.


Argh. Why do people have to be such dicks?


Joey Spata. Shit.

I've witnessed this kind of thing before and I can never figure out what's the point. Like if I say "nice tits" then that will make you want me? It's ludicrous.

That said, I feel for you (the collective) women. I can't imagine what I'd do if someone said "Hey, nice balls!" while I was going to Whole Foods.


One of my ex-GF's once told me about this phenomenon, and I was shocked. I have led a very sheltered life, filled with respect for others evidently. She told me that I had no idea what it was like, and went into detail about having to wear her oversized headphones (often not plugged into anything) whenever she was waiting for the bus, or when she otherwise had to remain in public. These served as her "leave me alone asshole" sign. I have no idea what it's like, have no idea how often it happens, and once again I shake my head in disgust.


dear god in heaven, where is that paint gun when you need it the most?

seriously, you are way more mature than i. perhaps i can learn from you that no matter how you respond, they will continue to be dookie heads in the billions.


This post made me sad. But I am glad you wrote it.

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.


Post a comment


Facebook LinkedIn Tumblr Twitter